Amy Harper

Amy Harper

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ADHD and Sleep: Why Your Brain Fights It (And How to Win the Battle)

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Ever tried to go to sleep only to find yourself wide awake at 2 AM, scrolling, overthinking, or starting a brand-new project? You know you need rest. Your body is exhausted. But somehow, the moment your head hits the pillow, your brain says: Then suddenly, it’s 3 AM, you’re deep into an internet rabbit hole, and tomorrow’s alarm is creeping closer. Sound familiar? Sleep problems are one of the most common struggles for ADHDers, and today, we’re breaking down why your brain refuses to power down—and what actually helps. The ADHD-Sleep Struggle: Why Can’t We Just Go to Bed? If you’ve ever felt like your body and brain are on completely different sleep schedules, you’re not imagining it. Most people naturally start winding down at night. Their brains release melatonin (the sleep hormone), they start feeling drowsy, and they drift off. But for ADHDers? Melatonin release is delayed, meaning: That’s not a willpower problem—it’s a biological difference. So when someone says, “Just go to bed earlier,” they don’t realize that for ADHDers, our brains literally aren’t on the same schedule as the rest of the world. The ADHD-Friendly Sleep Hack That Actually Works Alright, so we know why sleep is a struggle. Now let’s talk solutions. One of the biggest game-changers for ADHDers is The Body Clock Reset Method—because instead of trying to force yourself into an unnatural schedule, you actually work with your ADHD brain’s tendencies. Step 1: Pick a Realistic Bedtime Window Instead of saying, “I’ll be in bed by 10 PM” (which, let’s be honest, probably won’t happen), set a flexible bedtime window. Example: “I’ll go to bed sometime between 11:30 PM and 12:30 AM.” Why? Because ADHD brains resist strict rules—but a window gives your brain some freedom without completely derailing sleep. Step 2: Trick Your Brain into Powering Down Since ADHD brains struggle with shutting off, you need a dopamine-friendly way to signal “bedtime mode.” Here’s how: – Dim the lights an hour before bed—lower light = melatonin boost. – Switch to “low stimulation” activities (audiobooks, podcasts, calming music). – Do a brain dump—write down any lingering thoughts so your brain doesn’t keep chasing them. Why It Works: Instead of waiting for your brain to feel tired (which might not happen), you’re creating the signals yourself. Step 3: Use “Sleep Anchors” to Train Your Brain Your ADHD brain needs consistency to recognize when it’s time to sleep. So pick one small, repeatable action before bed—something that signals, “This is my sleep cue.” It could be: Why It Works: Over time, your brain associates these actions with sleep, making it easier to transition into rest mode. Final Thoughts: ADHD Brains Can Sleep—Just Differently If sleep has always felt like a battle, you’re not alone. But the good news? Your brain isn’t broken—it just needs a different approach. So, instead of forcing yourself into a neurotypical sleep routine, start working with your natural rhythms: 1- Set a realistic bedtime window (instead of a strict schedule). 2- Power down your brain with dopamine-friendly wind-down activities. 3- Use repeatable “sleep anchors” to help your brain recognize bedtime. Try just one of these changes this week and see if it helps. Sleep might never feel effortless, but with the right tweaks, it doesn’t have to feel impossible. Amy Harper

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When Rejection Feels Like a Punch to the Gut (And How to Stop the Spiral)

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I remember the first time I heard the phrase “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria” (RSD). I almost laughed—not because it sounded funny, but because it described my entire life so perfectly. For as long as I could remember, I felt like my emotions were set to maximum volume when it came to criticism. A simple “Hey, can we talk?” from a friend sent me spiraling into worst-case scenario thinking. A slightly disinterested response from a boss convinced me I was about to be fired. And don’t even get me started on group chats—if I sent a message and no one responded? My brain immediately jumped to “They hate me.” It didn’t matter if there was zero evidence of rejection—if there was even a hint of it, my brain filled in the blanks. Sound familiar? This is what RSD does. It makes small, everyday moments feel catastrophic. It turns a tiny misunderstanding into a full-blown identity crisis. And worst of all? It makes you second-guess your worth over and over again. The 24-Hour Rule (Why Time Is Your Best Friend in an RSD Spiral) If you take away just one thing from this email, let it be this: When you feel rejected, do absolutely nothing for 24 hours. I know—easier said than done. But hear me out. When RSD kicks in, it demands an immediate reaction. Your brain goes into panic mode, convinced that you have to fix things right now. It tells you to: And I used to fall for it every single time. Then, one day, I decided to experiment. Instead of reacting right away, I told myself, “I will not do anything about this feeling for 24 hours.” I would write the text but not send it. I would obsess in my head, but not act on it. I would let the feeling sit without feeding it. And do you know what happened? 95% of the time, the crisis disappeared on its own. By the next day: Sometimes, the rejection I felt wasn’t even real—it was just my brain playing tricks on me. And even when the rejection was real? By waiting 24 hours, I responded from a place of calm instead of panic. Why This Works (And Why It’s Hard at First) When you don’t react immediately, you give your brain a chance to reset. Think of RSD like a fire alarm going off in your head. The moment you feel criticized or ignored, the alarm starts blaring: 🔥 “YOU MESSED UP!” 🔥 “FIX THIS RIGHT NOW!” 🔥 “EVERYONE HATES YOU!” But here’s the thing—most fires in your brain are false alarms. If you resist the urge to react, the alarm gradually dies down. It feels impossible at first because your brain is screaming at you to do something. But once you see how often these feelings fade on their own, you start trusting yourself more. The first few times I tried this, I felt like I was holding my breath underwater. My anxiety wanted action. My brain demanded closure. But I held off. And when I realized that nothing bad actually happened—that most of my perceived rejections were in my head—I started regaining control over my emotions. Your RSD Challenge This Week The next time you feel rejected, ignored, or criticized, try this: 1 – Write down what you’re feeling. Get it all out, but don’t act on it. 2 – Wait 24 hours before responding or making any big decisions. 3 – See if the problem still feels as urgent the next day. I promise you—most of the time, it won’t. And every time you prove to yourself that rejection isn’t as catastrophic as it feels, you take back a little more power. Severe Cases For some people, RSD can feel completely overwhelming—so much so that it affects relationships, work, and self-esteem on a deep level. If you find that these feelings don’t fade with time or that they cause intense emotional distress, know that you don’t have to navigate it by yourself. Therapy can help reframe these thought patterns, and in some cases, ADHD medications like stimulants or certain non-stimulants can reduce emotional sensitivity. If RSD is impacting your daily life in a way that feels unmanageable, seeking professional support is a sign of strength, not failure. You deserve to feel safe in your own mind. Amy Harper

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Stop Calling Yourself Lazy: Understanding ADHD and Self-Talk

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Ever caught yourself thinking, “Why can’t I just get it together? Am I lazy?” Let’s set the record straight: You’re not lazy. What you’re experiencing is a common struggle for those with ADHD, and it’s time we reframe that negative self-talk. The Real Culprit: Executive Dysfunction ADHD often involves challenges with executive functions—those mental skills that help us manage time, stay organized, and initiate tasks. When these functions are impaired, it can lead to difficulties that are frequently misinterpreted as laziness. 📌 Source:Executive Dysfunction in ADHD Adults Study https://www.additudemag.com/executive-dysfunctions-adhd-adulthood-study/ Why Negative Self-Talk Hurts Constantly labeling yourself as lazy can damage your self-esteem and exacerbate ADHD symptoms. This negative self-talk creates a vicious cycle, making it even harder to manage daily tasks. 📌 Source:Negative Self-Talk & ADHD: The Self-Esteem Killers You Control https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/negative-self-talk-the-self-esteem-killers-you-control/ Reframing Your Inner Dialogue Instead of defaulting to self-criticism, try acknowledging the unique challenges your ADHD presents. Recognize that struggling with certain tasks doesn’t define your worth or effort. By shifting your internal narrative, you can foster a more compassionate and productive mindset. Strategies to Combat Negative Self-Talk ✔ Pause and Reflect – When a negative thought arises, take a moment to assess its validity. Is it based on facts, or is it a harsh self-judgment? ✔ Practice Self-Compassion – Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend facing similar challenges. Remember, managing ADHD is an ongoing journey. ✔ Seek Support – Connect with others who understand ADHD, whether through support groups or therapy. Sharing experiences can provide validation and new perspectives. Final Thought Struggling with task initiation or organization does not equate to laziness. By understanding the root causes and reframing your self-talk, you can break the cycle of negativity and embrace a more supportive approach to managing ADHD. Amy Harper

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ADHD-Friendly Productivity Apps That Actually Work

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If you’ve ever stared at your to-do list like it’s written in an alien language, you’re not alone. ADHD brains struggle with task management, not because we’re lazy (we covered that last time!) but because our brains are wired for NOW and NOT NOW. The trick? Finding tools that work with your brain instead of against it. I’ve tested dozens of productivity apps, and most of them? Useless for ADHD. But a few? Absolute lifesavers. Disclaimer: I don’t get paid or earn affiliate money from any of these apps—this is just me sharing tools that I’ve found helpful. Try them if they sound useful, or ignore them if they don’t! 1. Amazing Marvin – The Task Master That Adapts to You 📌 Why it works: Unlike rigid planners, Amazing Marvin lets you customize how you organize tasks based on your needs. ADHD brains need flexibility, and this app delivers. 🔗 URL: ​https://amazingmarvin.com​ 2. TickTick – The To-Do List That Actually Gets Done 📌 Why it works: Built-in Pomodoro timer, voice input for quick task capture, and simple habit tracking. Plus, it syncs across all your devices so you don’t lose your lists. 🔗 URL: ​https://ticktick.com​ 3. Sunsama – If Google Calendar and a Life Coach Had a Baby 📌 Why it works: ADHD brains struggle with time blindness. Sunsama lets you time-block your day, so you see exactly how long tasks take (instead of assuming everything takes 5 minutes). 🔗 URL: ​https://sunsama.com​ 4. Forest – Train Your Brain to Focus (And Grow a Tree!) 📌 Why it works: ADHDers love instant rewards. Forest gamifies focus by planting a virtual tree that grows the longer you stay off your phone. (Bonus: It helps plant real trees, too!) 🔗 URL: ​https://www.forestapp.cc​ 5. Habitica – Turn Your Tasks into a Game 📌 Why it works: Turns your to-do list into an RPG where completing tasks earns points, unlocks rewards, and keeps you engaged. If “just do it” doesn’t work, this makes it fun instead. 🔗 URL: ​https://habitica.com​ Final Thought: Not every app works for everyone—but when you find the right tool, it can make a huge difference in how you manage your day. Try one or two and see what clicks for you. Amy Harper

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Hyperfocus: ADHD Superpower or Sneaky Saboteur?

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Ever find yourself so engrossed in a task that hours fly by unnoticed? That’s hyperfocus—a phenomenon where individuals, especially those with ADHD, become intensely absorbed in activities that interest them. Let’s delve into what hyperfocus is, its benefits and drawbacks, and how to manage it effectively. What Is Hyperfocus? Hyperfocus refers to an intense concentration on a specific activity or task, often to the exclusion of other stimuli. While it can enhance productivity in engaging tasks, it may lead to neglecting other important responsibilities*. The Blessing: Why Hyperfocus Can Be Amazing The Curse: When Hyperfocus Works Against You 3 Ways to Harness Hyperfocus (Without Letting It Derail You) A Quick Pep Talk Hyperfocus can be a powerful tool when managed effectively. By setting boundaries and maintaining awareness, you can leverage this trait to enhance productivity without letting it disrupt other aspects of your life. Amy Harper

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Why Routines Feel Impossible (and What to Do)

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Ever feel like sticking to a routine is like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? You’re not alone. Traditional routines often clash with the ADHD brain’s natural rhythms, making them hard to maintain. But don’t worry—there are alternative strategies that can work for you. Why Traditional Routines Don’t Stick ADHD brains thrive on novelty and can struggle with rigid structures. The conventional “same time, same way” approach might feel restrictive, leading to frustration and abandonment of the routine. Non-Traditional Strategies That Work A Quick Pep Talk Remember, routines aren’t one-size-fits-all. It’s about finding what aligns with your unique brain. Start small, be kind to yourself, and adjust as needed. Flexibility is your ally. Amy Harper

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Why Rejection Feels Like the End of the World (and How to Handle It)

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Have you ever received a tiny critique and felt like your world was crumbling? Or maybe you overanalyze a text message wondering, Did I say something wrong? That’s rejection sensitivity at work—also known as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It’s a fancy term for something that feels anything but fancy. What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? RSD is the emotional equivalent of a bullhorn. A minor comment (or even the thought of rejection) can feel like a full-blown personal attack. If you have ADHD, this sensitivity can be heightened due to differences in how your brain processes emotions. According to experts at ADDitude Magazine, RSD is one of the most common but misunderstood experiences for people with ADHD. You can read more about it here: https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd How RSD Shows Up But here’s the thing—you’re not “too much.” Your brain is just processing emotions in a unique, over-the-top way. What Can You Do? Here are some ADHD-specific strategies to help you manage RSD without wanting to crawl under a blanket forever: A Quick Pep Talk Here’s the truth: You are not your rejection sensitivity. You’re so much more— you are funny, creative, and resilient. The next time rejection hits like a tidal wave, remind yourself that this feeling is temporary and it’s okay to take a moment to recover. Amy Harper

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Boost Your Focus with This Handy App

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Managing ADHD can feel like herding cats—especially when it comes to staying organized and on task. Recently, I’ve been using an app that’s made a significant difference: Todoist. What Is Todoist? Todoist is a task management app designed to help you organize your tasks and projects efficiently. Why I Like It How It Helps with ADHD Research highlights the importance of structured routines and tools for managing ADHD. According to the experts at NeuroLaunch, implementing task management systems like Todoist can significantly improve productivity by reducing procrastination and helping you break tasks into manageable steps. The structured approach helps individuals stay on track and feel less overwhelmed*. Important Note I’m not affiliated with Todoist and receive no compensation for this recommendation. I’m sharing it because it’s been a valuable tool in managing tasks effectively. If you decide to try it, I’d love to hear about your experience! Amy Harper *​https://neurolaunch.com/adhd-and-structure/

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Procrastination Isn’t Laziness—It’s Your Brain Being Sneaky

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Ah, procrastination. The magical ability to find yourself alphabetizing your spice rack instead of starting that “big, important thing.” (I mean, who doesn’t need perfectly organized cumin in a crisis?) Here’s the thing: procrastination isn’t about being lazy. For people with ADHD, it often stems from task initiation struggles, thanks to how our brains process motivation. Why ADHD Brains Procrastinate The ADHD brain craves dopamine—that feel-good chemical that makes things fun, exciting, or rewarding. Tasks that don’t immediately spark joy (hello, tax forms!) don’t produce enough dopamine, so your brain tries to protect you by doing something easier or more enjoyable. But there’s hope! Over the years, I’ve worked with countless individuals who’ve turned procrastination into progress using a few tailored strategies. 3 ADHD-Specific Tricks to Tackle Procrastination Why These Strategies Stick Unlike neurotypical brains, ADHD brains need a little extra creativity to overcome procrastination. These tips aren’t about brute force—they’re about hacking your brain to work with you, not against you. So next time you find yourself avoiding a task (or suddenly obsessed with organizing your sock drawer), try one of these. Your brain might surprise you! Amy Harper

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Why Time Slips Away: ADHD’s Hidden Challenge

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Ever feel like time just vanishes? One minute, it’s morning, and suddenly, the day’s gone. This isn’t about being careless—it’s a common experience for those of us with ADHD, known as time blindness. Why Does This Happen? ADHD affects our internal clocks, making it tough to gauge time accurately. Research indicates that individuals with ADHD often struggle with time perception, leading to challenges in estimating how long tasks will take*. Strategies to Navigate Time Blindness How I Used These Tips Let me tell you a quick story. A few years ago, I was constantly late to meetings. No matter how hard I tried, I’d underestimate how long it would take to wrap up what I was doing, gather my things, and head out the door. It was exhausting and left me feeling like I was constantly disappointing people—and myself. That’s when I started using visual timers. I bought a Time Timer, the kind that shows time ticking away as a red section slowly disappears. I set it for 10 minutes before I needed to leave. When I saw the red shrinking, it clicked: I needed to start wrapping up, not keep working. Adding buffer time made a huge difference, too. I now plan for 15 minutes of “transition time” between tasks, like finishing one project and heading into a meeting. It felt weird at first, but over time, I realized it was giving my brain the space it needed to shift gears. These changes didn’t just help me stay on time—they helped me feel less stressed and more in control of my day. If time has been slipping through your fingers, give these tips a try. Remember, you’re not working against your brain—you’re learning how to work with it. Amy Harper ​*​https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/20/4/3098?